Rant 4: Escaping France

Oh look, the amazing and truly wonderful Skype chat thing is alive and well again. It seems like people never leave Skype, the same way they never leave France. France never seems to win wars and they are always lopping off their bosses' heads, but no one just up and walks over to another country. I mean, France is probably only as big as an American subdivision, so I don't think crossing into a new country would be very difficult. Regardless, I would probably stock up on supplies before making such a perilous journey. I would bring my trusty snorkel, as I may need to cross an exceptionally deep puddle, a one gallon jug of Gatorade, as the commercials tell me that if I do anything remotely active, I need Gatorade, a pocketwatch, as most people in every European country except France probably carry them and I need to blend in right away, and my Sony Walkman, complete with Journey in it. I think that would be enough to get across Europe. If I need to rest, I am sure there are nice people around somewhere that would loan me a "flat", because Europeans look down on apartments. If all else fails, I am sure I can buy a really tall ladder and just gaze at all of Europe's great landmarks from atop it. This method would save me the need to carry both a compass and a map, as I can just climb the ladder I am bringing with me to figure out where I am. Furthermore, if I see other people out on the streets trying to get into France, I will tell them the horror stories, and they will be grateful. That will make me just like Paul Revere! I think this is probably my greatest plan ever, and once I get into France, I can successfully leave it.