Rant 2: Sipping Fancy Mountain Dew

What if I did the rant thing again? I wonder how many people would be all "WTF? I didn't expect that!" and how many people would be like "I knew he was going to do this again!". That could be a very interesting thing to see. Or, it won't. But, the best part of it all is if I do it and find out, and record my findings to VHS(like a boss), and publish them in a fantastical magazine and make a million dollars. Then, after securing my million dollars, I would use it to fund ranting research all over the world, whilst sitting in my private jet and playing ping pong with my pet chimp. That would probably be the greatest thing to do right now, unless I had the chimp play ping pong with itself, like a champion of ping pong. Then, I could sip on expensive Mountain Dew, and reign over my ranting Kingdom, like a King of Ranting would. I would also have a cape. If I didn't have a cape, how could I be the King of anything? It would be a red cape, because any other color would look silly for someone of my impressive ranting status. I wouldn't wear a crown though, beacause crowns are not very good hats. If I were to have headgear while sipping my fancy Mountain Dew, it would probably be a giant margarita umbrella, because it would keep me dry, and at the same time, I couldn't be angry because of how colorful my hat is. I think this is a great plan that I plan on submitting to the world in very quick time, so as no one can steal my foolproof plan, nor can they ever decide that it was a bad plan before I acted on it, thus making me a millionaire. I should go down to the patent office now to claim my exclusive rights, and also down to the local airport to pick my private jet. The chimp will already be there, or else he wouldn't be very entertaining, now would he? ....thought so.