Rant 3: Fight the Plastic Usurpers

Oh no, he is at it again. What in the hell does he have left to say? I mean, he has already covered life, love, happiness, and nachos, so what else is there? I will tell you what else there is: There is sleep. Sleep, a thing that comes naturally to some people,and to others, well, not so much. My space bar wants to sleep, as it is trying to make me run all my thoughts into one long word, opposed to making a good, well thought out rant. It is strange, my keys on my laptop seem to take turns being almost impossible to use on the first attempt. It's like a game to them, where they secretly mock me as I type. The keys whisper to each other while my laptop is closed, telling each other which ones should be stuck the next time I go to use the computer. I feel a keyboard mutiny is at hand, and that means only one thing: I need to pre-emptively hit my keyboard with a tactical nuclear strike. Only then will I be safe from the impending horrors of my keys. Not everyone understands the dangers of every day life, as they don't have villianous computer hardware. Some people are just lucky like that. Me, I am not. I take the fight to the plastic usurpers(sp?). I only sleep peacefully at night when I know my family is not in immediate danger from the evils of the inanimate objects strewn across my abode. But hey, what is life without a bit of gambling? I'll tell you. It's boring. That's why we invent only things that will kill us faster. We love taking risks, and I know as well as you know, that the next time you shut your laptop, you will gaze down upon those keys, the uniform rows of schemeing little devils, and you will truly wonder what unspeakable evils they are capable of. I know that I will.